Singleness - Be Joyful Always

Be joyful... not only when life is good and everything is going right, but ALWAYS.

Joy is not the same as happiness. One author describes happiness as circumstantial, while joy "is directly related to God and is the firm confidence that all is well, regardless of your circumstances". God is eternal, which means He will always be there for us, and therefore our joy should be constant, even through difficult times (James 1:2). Does that mean we shouldn't feel sad that we don't have a significant other? I'm sure most singles will have moments where they feel a tinge of jealousy or pain when they see couples getting married, or even just holding hands. In fact, the other day I found myself rolling my eyes in the elevator when a guy said something cute and cheesy to his girlfriend. I wasn't rolling my eyes because the phrase was stupid, but because I was a little jealous there was no one in my life saying cheesy things to make me feel special. When you go through times like that, and you think "God... why don't I have someone like that?" just remember that God has something special for you and your life... whether you go through it with or without someone special.

Here is something my friend wrote to me to add to what I said:

"Happiness is circumstantial while joy is something that is constant and underlying in our lives. We can be happy, but not joyful, and we can be joyful, but not always the happiest due to circumstances. But in those circumstances, there is always something more because of the joy we have.
Being single is a wonderful time to be cherished! Though it does get hard at times (and these times usually reflect our sinful nature or discontent with what God has given us), it's so amazing to think that it's just you and God.. your heart is completely His without the distraction of [being in a relationship]."

I found this quote, and really liked it:

"God can take your greatest pain and through it bring a great promise. God did it with Jesus, taking his greatest pain for the greatest healing on the planet. Whatever fear you might feel, walk in faith knowing that rainbows only appear in the rain." - James Choung

So how do we find joy in EVERY circumstance, whether we are single or in a relationship? Through prayer and thanksgiving (Phil. 4:6-7), loving our God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength (Mark 12:30), loving others (Mark 12:31), trusting God to take care of us (Prov. 3:5-6, Isaiah 43:1-7), and counting our blessings (Psalm 77:11-12). To sum it up with one word: OBEDIENCE (Jeremiah 7:23).

Singleness - Introduction

(I started writing these next few posts the day after Valentines day, and have been working on it slowly since. This is just the introduction... my roommate told me to split it up so people would actually read them.)

I've been reading a lot of articles about singleness for the past few weeks because of Valentine's Day. There was always a part of me that hated not having a boyfriend... but for about a year or so, God has been showing me how being single can be, and is, a blessing.

In most of the articles I read, the authors seem to add glimmers of hope for singles, telling them to trust that God will provide them with a partner. I am not about to tell you NOT to trust in God, but I do want to point out a few things. God never promised any of us that He would bring boyfriends or girlfriends into our lives, or that we'd someday be married(*). We can't get mad at God if we remain single for the rest of our lives, because God did not promise us a husband or wife. What God DID give us, though, is a relationship with His beloved Son, a perfect love that we will never fully understand, and a promise to watch over us (John 15:13-15, Psalm 33:18-22). So, instead of writing about trusting in God to bring that special someone to us, I'd like to write about trusting that God has a purpose for our current situations even if we can't see what good can come out of it, and how we should not just be "okay" with our singleness, but fully appreciate it... even if it means we stay single for the rest of our lives.

For the purpose of my next few posts, I will be using a passage of scripture (1 Thess 5:16-18) that God has been repeatedly showing me for the past few months. 1Thess. 5:16-18 sums up what God desires in our lives with three phrases: Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances. Please keep in mind that these verses do not apply only to our relationship status, but also to every aspect of our lives!


(*)If anyone disagrees with me on this point... then please tell me. I don't want to misinform anyone. BUT as far as I know, there are no verses that say "I will give you a husband/wife". Genesis 2:18 does not promise us marriage. God wants to give Adam a helper suitable for him, and it's true, He did make us relational creatures! That's why we have family, friends, and our brothers and sisters in Christ as our helpers and encouragers!